Love yourself first.
It’s what I tell myself every morning… Sometimes it’s so
easy to see good in others, but so hard to find anything good about ourselves,
isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong. I love who I am, with my flaws and my crazy Sagittarian temper, but whenever I’m in a relationship everything I do is for the other
person. I prioritize the other person’s happiness instead of my own.
And in the midst of all that, I forget to love myself for
just being me.
I start depending on people’s opinion about myself to truly
know how special I am. And when they don’t validate me? I feel crushed, less
worthy, incapable, alone and miserable. I know it’s sad, but it’s true.
We all heard the saying that you cannot love somebody else
unless you love yourself first. Well, I agree. But, I did love myself first
when I was single. I loved my grotesque loud laugh, my fast brain (more like I can’t
sit still), my ability to love others and my passion to help the
underprivileged. I loved my personality even though I knew I wasn’t everyone’s
cup of tea. I didn’t care. I loved me.
I knew I was special,
because I was made by God. I wasn’t a Victoria’s Secret model (not that I would
want to be), a famous actress, a successful doctor, a lawyer or a governor… I didn’t
have a big title, but I was important to me.
I was a simple and humble human being that believed I could
touch lives, share a little bit of love, along with happiness, and peace.
Maybe I wasn’t the nicest person all the time. Maybe I
wasn’t the kindest either. I interrupted people talking and sounded rude to
many others, but I still had hope that I was doing something good for people’s
life, and for the world. I believe my
happiness and contagious energy could transform anybody’s life. Sounds crazy,
but I had faith in the power of love.
My problem starts when I fall in love. For some reason, I’m
willing to sacrifice everything about who I am to bring a smile to somebody’s
face. I forget about my own desires, my own dreams, my own
talents, and everything that makes me who I am.
Here I am, at 25 years-old trying to understand life.
I decided to not rely on others anymore, or even expect much from people. If I want certain things to be done, I can do by myself. If I want somebody to compliment me, I can compliment myself. If I want somebody to give me flowers, I can buy my own. I create my own happiness and for now on I will love myself first.
